Reverb 10 -- Prompts 9 thru 11

I am continuing on with the Reverb 10 challenge:

The prompt for December 9 was: Party.  What social gathering knocked your socks off in 2010?  Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans.

Honestly, I did not attend many social gatherings in 2010, which makes me feel kinda lame.  So I don’t have a lot of parties to choose from.   In fact, I think that the only parties that I attended in 2010 were ones that I actually threw, which I find a bit depressing.  Anyway, I would like to choose my wedding reception as the answer to this prompt, but if I am honest with myself, the whole event was a little too stressful for me to say that it “knocked my socks off.”

However, Tom and I did throw another party about a month after we got married.  We got married at the beach on Fort Fisher, NC, about two and a half hours away from our home.  We decided to keep our wedding very small (we had only 15 adult guests and 4 children), so afterwards, we wanted to throw a party for our friends back in Raleigh who weren’t at the wedding. 

I had a nasty cold for this party, but I had so much fun that day that I completely forgot about it.  Almost everyone that we invited to the party came, which I think is a rare thing these days!  It was fantastic to see some friends that we hadn’t seen in awhile.  But the best part came after most of the guests had gone, leaving Tom and me with two of my amazing friends that I met in massage school, Kelly B. and Lisa. 

Lisa and Kelly B. are like no other friends that I have.  I don’t get to see either one of them that often, but when I do, it is always a blast.  We mainly just end up laughing hysterically for most of the time that we are together, over things that I can’t ever remember afterwards.  They are willing to let their proverbial hair down more than anyone else I know, and I always feel younger and lighter after spending time with them.  Even though our party started at 2:00pm that day, it didn’t end until after 10:00pm, when I had to call a cab to drive Lisa and Kelly back to Kelly’s place.

I don’t think that the written word can adequately convey the absolute F-U-N that these two women bring with them everywhere they go.  So here are just a few of the over 200 pictures that we took of ourselves that night (we went a little overboard!)

 

 

 

I love these girls!

Love you Lisa and Kelly B.!!!!

The prompt for December 10 was:  Wisdom.  What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?

I made two very wise decisions this year.  The first one was the decision to marry Tom.  Technically, this decision was made in 2009, but since we didn’t actually get married until 2010, I think that my decision to go through with the wedding counts! ;o)

Having been married once before, I was opposed to getting married again for many years after I got divorced.  I just didn’t want to have to go through all of the pain, heartbreak and legalities a second time.   But, as I spent more and more years with Tom, my position started to soften.   After years of being together, I hated having to call myself his “girlfriend.”  I also eventually realized that I would be strong enough to make it through a second divorce if I had to.  I survived the first one, as difficult as it was (it was not my choice at all and it devastated me).  And I knew that closing my heart and refusing to be vulnerable was not the right answer.   So I changed my mind, and I am so happy that I did!

My second wise decision in 2010 was the decision I made to switch jobs back in August.  The biggest struggle in my life by far has been my inability to find a career that I enjoy that can also pay the bills.  I graduated from law school 16 years ago and have been struggling ever since.   Every single day of my life, I worry about money, my “career” (I put it in quotes because I don’t feel like I have a real career), and if I will ever find something profitable to do that I really love.  And it’s not that I haven’t tried -- in 2003, I left the legal profession altogether and became a massage therapist.  I started a couple of other small businesses as well.  Unfortunately, these businesses just didn’t produce enough income to support the lifestyle that I wanted to live (which was and is fairly modest, by the way).

So I went back to legal work part-time in 2006 to pay the bills, and still kept at the businesses.  But, financially, I wasn’t doing much more than paying the bills.  I wasn’t saving, and I didn’t have much income for discretionary spending.  I wanted to be in business for myself, but it just wasn’t working.  I was unhappy and frustrated, and I am pretty darn sure that Tom was frustrated with me as well.

Then, this year, an opportunity fell into my lap to go back to legal work full time.  As much as I don’t want to keep doing legal work for the rest of my life, I simply couldn’t say “no” to the salary that this job provides me.  The hours are fantastic, and I am generally not stressed about my work (although there have been some definite recent exceptions that I won’t go into).  If I have to do legal work, the type of work that I am doing now is what I enjoy the most out of everything I’ve tried.  And I am finally saving quite a bit of money, which is truly amazing.  The best thing about it is that the job term is not indefinite.  I’m not sure exactly how long it will last, but 4 years is the absolute limit (although I don’t think it will last even that long).   This gives me a feeling of not being “trapped,” which makes me a lot more enthusiastic about my work.  This is truly one of the best decisions I have made not just this year, but in quite some time!!! 

The prompt for today, December 11 is:  11 Things.  What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?

11 things that my life doesn’t need in 2011 are:

1.  Anxiety

2.  Perfectionism

3.  Self-Doubt

4.  Comparisons with other people

5.  Negativity

6.  Inaction due to fear

7.  The appearance of being “normal”

8.  Scarcity thinking

9.  A need for certainty about everything

10. Concern about what other people think

11.  The 30 extra pounds I carry around

Ideas 1 through 10 were lifted in large part out of Brene Brown’s new book:  The Gifts of Imperfection.  The book is awesome – go Brene!!!  I am going to go about eliminating 1-10 by participating in the Dream Lab with Brene Brown, Andrea Scher and Jen Lemen starting in January, 2011.  Thanks for the opportunity ladies!!!  I hope others out there will join me!!

As for # 11, I have committed to working out 5 days every single week for an entire year.  I have a specific commitment process that I plan on writing more about later!

I can't believe that I have finally caught up on the prompts -- Woo HOO!!!

Comments

[Tami]

So much in common with this post! Although many of these are still a work in progress for me. A regular yoga practice has helped with all of these.

[Elisse]

Congrats on catching up on your prompts! I'm slowly making my way through mine!

Love your party response - sometimes the best parties are the ones that are spent with those who know us the best, whether it's 3 or 30 people.

Thanks for reminding me about Brene Brown - I've been meaning to check out her literature!