It’s interesting -- after I announced that I was coming back, I really started feeling ungrateful about my life. This is pretty bad when you are supposed to be writing a gratitude blog!! It is particularly difficult for me to admit this given the situation in Haiti. When I see the devastation on the news, I know that I should feel extremely grateful for the life that I have. But knowing that and actually feeling it are two different things. All of the rationalizing in the world can't change the way that you truly feel inside.
Nothing extremely serious has happened, just a lot of little things that are weighing on my mind and making me feel very b.o.g.g.e.d down.
Today I feel like the clouds are beginning to lift. And when I look back at how I have been feeling for the past couple of weeks, I see that there is a lesson to be learned. It is unrealistic to think that we can feel gratitude in our lives 100% of the time. It is only natural to feel anxious, depressed, dejected, nervous, etc. sometimes. It really is ok to feel this way, and it is not something to beat yourself up about.
As I make my way through feelings of sadness, anger, depression, etc., I try to keep planting seeds of gratitude. It is possible to work through negative emotions without feeding them all of your energy. Just closing my eyes and taking a few deep breaths allows some space for feelings of gratitude to resurface. Longer periods of meditation are also great for getting myself back into balance.
Once I am feeling more balanced, it becomes easier and easier to focus on feelings of gratitude. I am feeling happier and more grateful just from sitting down and writing this post. Although 2010 didn’t start exactly the way I would have hoped, when I look back at 2009, I realize I have so many things to be thankful for. I got healthier and lost 30 pounds. I got engaged! My sister and I sold my parents’ house and finally put my dad’s estate to rest. I went on fabulous trips to Belize and Vancouver.
I could go on and talk about many other circumstances that I have to be grateful for, but my point is that when you actively look for things to be happy about in life, you are bound to find some! So why not dig around in your mind today and see what you can find?! ;-)
